Special thanks to ereads.com for pointing this out!
Who is your editor?
I’d heard of this contest before. Writers are challenged with penning the worst introductory sentence of a novel that they can imagine. So for those of us uncomfortable with the idea of mocking unsuspecting peers, we can relax. The writers here were trying to be bad. At least, that’s the story they’re sticking to.
So take a few minutes and follow the link…and if you’ve got something that sounds sort of like these entries, it may be time to hire a new editor. I’m not sure there’s ever a right time to compare a marriage to what goes on inside a bird’s rectum.
Enjoy.
The Weathered Journal 
Those lines were hilarious!
I thought so as well. A lot of work went into making some of that terrible prose!
Thank you for sharing this. I had heard of the contest but never really read the winners before. My wife and I both teach writing at the college level. We spent a lot of time groaning, laughing and then reminding ourselves that we probably have a few papers we have graded which could match some of these.
I imagine that you have read some really “good” bad stuff. Thanks for leaving the comment!